As the year winds down, I’ve been reflecting on the version of myself I’ve always imagined—the me I’ve always intended to be. I call this exercise Writing the Story of Me. It’s about sitting down and getting detailed—painstakingly detailed—about your Residual Self-Image (a term I borrowed from The Matrix movies).
This isn’t just a New Year’s thing for me. I revisit it a few times a year because life has a way of nudging us off course, and it’s easy to forget who you thought you’d be. This exercise lets you recalibrate and take actionable steps toward closing the gap between who you are now and who you want to become.
Let’s get into it.
Step 1: Visualize Your Residual Self-Image
Find a quiet moment to sit back and picture yourself as the person you’ve always wanted to be. Don’t just stop at the surface—immerse yourself in the vision. Who are you? What do you look like? How do you move through the world? Here are some prompts to help:
Physical Appearance
How do you style your hair?
What’s your body like? Are you strong? Lean? Gracefully aging?
What kind of clothes do you wear? Are they bold? Subtle? Comfortable? Structured?
Do you wear jewelry or accessories? Glasses, contacts, or neither?
Your Surroundings
Where are you? Describe your home, your office, or your favorite space in vivid detail.
What’s in the room? Are there books, art, plants, gadgets, or cozy furniture?
Are you alone, or do you share this space with others?
Your Day-to-Day Life
What does a typical day look like for this version of you?
What do you do for work? How do you spend your downtime?
How do you interact with people? Confidently? Quietly? Warmly?
Skills and Habits
What skills do you have? Are you bilingual? Multitalented?
How do you carry yourself?
How do people feel when you're around? For example, once upon a time, it was normal for me to show up and exude sex appeal - after all, I was on stage quite a bit. These days, I realize sex appeal can be a distraction. So, my goal these days is to carry an air of peace with me wherever I go, so women feel welcome and men feel at ease.
Do you speak clearly, walk with purpose, or exude calmness?
What routines or habits do you follow daily?
Step 2: Reflect on the Gap
Once you’ve imagined this version of yourself, take a moment to compare it to who you are today. Not from a place of judgment, but from curiosity. Where are the biggest differences?
Ask yourself:
What aspects of my Residual Self-Image feel furthest away from my current self?
Which parts of that vision already exist in me but need nurturing or refining?
What small steps could I take in the coming months to align more closely with that version of me?
Step 3: Write Your Story
Here’s where the magic happens: write it all down. Not as a list, but as a story. Imagine your life as if you’ve already become this person. Speak about your future self in the present tense, as though it’s already true.
For example:"I’m standing in my home office, surrounded by floor-to-ceiling windows that let in the morning light. I’m wearing bold African prints—wide-legged pants and a Burna Boy-style blazer, paired with handmade jewelry from local designers. My hair is big, curly, and unapologetic, and I move through my day with calm confidence. My Mandarin is fluent now, and I’m preparing for a call with a team member in Shanghai. My luxury pickup is parked in the driveway, and my mind is clear, focused, and ready for what’s next."
Write with as much detail as possible. Capture the emotions, the settings, and the essence of who you are in this vision.
Step 4: Choose One Thing to Focus On
Transformation happens incrementally. Choose one aspect of your Residual Self-Image to focus on in the next three months. It could be learning a skill, upgrading your wardrobe, or committing to a new habit.
Make it actionable:
If you want to strengthen your body, set a realistic fitness goal.
If you want to change your style, pick one new item of clothing that represents the “you” you envision.
If you want to learn a language, commit to daily practice on an app like Duolingo or enroll in a class.
Step 5: Revisit and Adjust
Return to this exercise every few months. You’ll find that as you grow and evolve, your Residual Self-Image may change too. That’s okay—this isn’t about perfection. It’s about intentionally shaping your life into something that feels authentic and fulfilling.
Closing Thought
Writing the story of yourself is an act of hope and intention. It’s a way of saying, I believe in my ability to grow, to change, to become. And it’s a reminder that even if the gap between now and your vision feels wide, every small step brings you closer.
So, who do you want to be? Start writing.
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