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And If It Never Changes...

Writer's picture: Sorilbran StoneSorilbran Stone

A couple of days ago, I had this passing thought: What if it never changes? What if the way I feel right now stays the way I feel forever?


It wasn’t a deep, intentional reflection—just a random idea that bubbled up while I was sitting with my thoughts. But it stayed with me, this question.


I’ve spent a lot of time trying to make sense of certain feelings—why old memories resurfaced, why specific emotions hit me so hard, why some things I thought I’d buried long ago have popped back up, uninvited. I’ve tried to reconcile them, analyze them, even bury them again. But none of that worked.


So what if I stop? What if I just accept these feelings for what they are and trust God with the rest?


Not Everything Is Mine to Understand

There’s a lot about life that isn’t mine to figure out. A therapist I listened to recently said something that hit me right in the chest: It’s not for us to understand everything about our lives.


That resonated deeply. For so long, I’ve tied myself in knots trying to piece together the past. I’ve asked, Why did this happen? Why now? What’s the point? Especially in moments where I can’t find anything to repair or repent of, I’ve wondered why certain memories feel so loud.


But here’s the truth I’ve been leaning into: it’s not my job to solve every riddle. Some things are simply not meant to be understood.


This is where faith comes in. Faith says, Even if I don’t understand, I trust that God does. Faith lets me rest, knowing that every process and outcome—even the messy, unresolved ones—are in His hands. It’s the thing that separates the anxious from the faithful.

Without faith, I’d keep spinning my wheels, desperate to find meaning in things I may never fully grasp. With faith, I can say, I don’t know, but God does. And that’s enough.


Living Without Answers

For the longest time, I assumed that unresolved emotions needed to be fixed—analyzed, rationalized, packed away neatly. But maybe they don’t. Maybe they just need to exist.

Faith is what allows me to let those emotions sit without overwhelming me. It reminds me that peace doesn’t come from perfect understanding; it comes from trusting the One who understands perfectly.


The memories came back for a reason I may never know. The emotions that came with them don’t need to be reconciled. They just are. And that’s okay.


What if it never changes? What if the emotions never fade, the answers never come, and the stories never get tied up with neat little bows?


Shrug. With faith, I can live with that.


Because God doesn’t need my understanding to work His plan. And knowing that? That’s where the peace comes from.

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